Sigh....

这条道路，两旁都不是我想要的景色。
人生就是那么的无奈吧?
常听说要有规划的人生
生活才有意义
可我有我的目标、
我清楚自己的方向
但又有何帮住?
常常都得不到在计划中的东西
有计划但又能怎么样?
每次都会被捣乱
前方的路，只有疲惫...
也许我是自己人生失败的编辑者...
无奈...真无奈...

有目标，有冲劲

我有很多的目标

我的梦想 就是旅行
旅行 首先要有一台好相机
既然已经有了好相机 就要找些好的配件 拍出更好数质的照片

所以 我需要很多的$$$$
那么 我就要拼命的工作
赚多多的钱 换来我的梦想

现在的梦
只有自己只身 去完成
偶尔也希望 有个伴可以一起分享
一个人久了 会累

只身在外生活 真的没那么简单
要很坚强

挑战

首先，要恭贺自己找到一份工作.

本来保留这个日期的位子其实是要写写到大公司工作前夕的心情。但是，第一天上班，知道这部门的working style 后，真的是让我彻底的失望透顶。很多次想立刻丢信的冲动.

可是我不能这么做

因为
长大了

踏出每一步都要想想后果
做每一件事都要有责任感
受点苦不算什么
应该要把眼光放得更遥远
不可以一味的想要过得轻松的生活
更不能没尝试就想放弃

“先苦后甜”
现在暂时先把工作排在生活上的第一位
真的透不过气再想想其他办法
所以现在愿意接受这艰难的挑战

只要相信

什么事情都会变成可能
我要胜任这份工作！加油！

leaving....离....

I hope i hv finally found what i hv after in life. Working in kl is what I'm looking for since last time. Now that i hv gt the chance, but i hv to throw my family and leave my best friends in north.. When I am stress/ down, I cant go back home to seek for the warmth of family; when I am tired, I hv to handle it all alone in KL. but i keep telling myself this is a process of growing up. I shd learn to be independent. I'm very clear that working in kl is not the same as studying in kl ad. Working, i will not go back that frequent. If go back home also like staying in a comfortable hotel for at most 1 week only. Pity my parents I hv to leave them here and chase after my dreams. I'm a selfish daughter...But thanks to mom that she is always supporting me, and thanks to dad that he always give me what i want.

My family

这段期间，我深深的明白世界上最坚固、最不会变质的关系是亲情

在我最低落的时候，还好有爸爸妈妈在背后给我鼓励。

可是在我心情很不好的时候，我却常常向他们发脾气。

很多时候我是应该要把不开心的情绪藏起来的，不应该让他们看见、让他们为我担忧。

看见他们常为我操心，真的觉得自己还不够成熟。

几时，我才可以让他们不为我担心？

几时，在他们眼中我才是个可以独立的大人？

虽然还是会思念
但是我已学会把思念往肚里吞
不找任何人倾诉
也不会作多余的联系
去奢望“无味”的反应
虽然好想可以分享
但有好朋友在
我想那就已经足够了
我不需要任何人
只要好朋友
要知音
和我亲爱的家人

乐观

自我催眠
自我麻醉

“你已成为过去
希望在明天”

My true feeling

The big smile...
is it truly from the bottom of my heart?
No, it is a fake smile
I'm pretending to be optimistic
but actually the worst thing that might happen keep on playing in my mind
I'm pretending depress is thousand miles away from me
but actually I feel very stress inside
I'm pretending to ignore how people are judging me
but actually I need your encouragement and support
I'm pretending the pass have been forgotten
but actually everything have been deeply engraved inside my heart
I'm pretending to be happy with my current life
but actually I feel that something is missing in life

This blog itself create a sad atmosphere.
Hope the colourful words will help to reduce the gray mood

小丑

看上去我像个傻婆，失尽仪态的疯狂大笑，
事实上，我心里超难过，我只不过是个化着浓妆的小丑
一直想要掩饰...掩饰.......................思念

Keep me Dreaming

How I wish i could always stay in my dream.

How I wish the theory in the movie "Inception" can apply in the real world too.

In my dream, I can stay happier

In my dream, nobody is leaving me

In my dream, I will not be lonely

In my dream, everything will have a happy ending

In my dream... In my dream... In my dream...

How I wish I could always stay in my dream

and never wake up

The real world is SXXK!!

Give me peace please!! i want a peaceful life!

I'm really tired and sick of everything!

Could you all just keep your mouths shut!

Don't ever try to challenge my patient!

I do not hope to be cruel!

Since you all make the situation worst

Then you have to leave!

This is not the ending that I wish it to happen in this way!

Stay

quietly and peacefully,

or else

LEAVE!!

想念

思念

挂念

memories are killing me...

The secret

My Job, My Career.

The message: IF THIS IS YOUR WORK,

I HAVE BAD NEWS FOR YOU

Bon Odori in Penang

少了一个人

模糊

以往在脑海里清晰的脸孔
现在已经开始变模糊
历历在目的往事
一件一件在脑海消失
是我记忆力变差吗？
只需短暂的时间就可冲淡记忆
还是痛苦逼迫我得忘了它
因为它不应该让我常回味、常挂念...

My BABIES~

My properties, My babies =)

Will take good care of the new born baby (17th June 2010).
Welcome to the family, 8447 =D

483 In Memory

Back to Serdang for few days but this time, I'm not going to stay in 483. Walked in the taman, sighted 483 from far, warmth filled my heart. The house look so familiar to me but the people and everything inside the house already different. Feeling weird cause I did not and dare not step into 483 which is once known as "my house". I miss every party that was organized in 483, I miss the time we study hard and also "play hard" in there, I miss every corner of the house which is once filled with our laughter, I miss my pets, Fan Fan and friends

and I miss my ex-housematesss!

What's Up

Like this oldie song. Choose to upload this song without its MV because the singer look ermm.. like if you view it in mid night, you will get shock. lol

Waiting...

I'm waiting waiting and waiting. Really hate this kind of feeling cause I do not have much patient. The train I'm taking for 3 years has dropped me back to the origin, back to this familiar station. I'm now eagerly hoping for the next train to come faster to fetch me to my next destination.

But seem like this train move really slow, till now, I'm still lost, I don't know which place is my destiny, I'm still waiting..Waiting for an answer from you, GOD. Waiting for you to give me direction..

Astar Gang

Finally we have our first Alor Star coursemates "gathering" in our hometown :D

My family

i love flower, i love green grass and i love grandma

Was going to Penang, my grandma's house yesterday. The place that I like most is grandma's garden. Grandma likes flowers, she likes gardening, so her garden used to have more than ten species of flowers. But now, there are only few species left due to her stamina is getting weaker.

花的三个阶段：一枝面临凋谢，一枝灿烂开放着，一枝则含苞待放

I'm worry about grandma, no one can actually take care of her, NO ONE!! Did those uncles know how is grandma's health condition now? Concerning through phone calls do not give any help, she needs you all by her side. Feel sad for grandma.

I love her and I really hope she can stay healthy always.

Hot Air Balloon in Astar

Aku anak negeri Kedah =D

It is a surprise to know that the hot air balloon festival will be held in Alor Star, and the countries that take part in this activity are almost the same as was held in Putrajaya last time. It was a big regret that I did not have the chance to get a close shot at the balloon in Putrajaya since i reach there late. So, this time I woke up very early in the morning ( it is the earliest morning i wake up in these 3weeks time i back in Alor Star). Obviously, the photo session at 7.45am was not as crowded as in Putrajaya. Only few photography fancies like me would went there so early just to capture the nice scene of the balloons were set up. It made easier for my photo shooting as there was not too many blocking.

The cutest hot air balloon

Thanks Wan Ting for crazy together with me. Was bringing my "xiao lan" along so that she can accompany WanTing while I was busying. lol

Wanting's & my shadows

The inner of the balloon

wesak day in my hometown

无聊-ing

如果失去是苦，你怕不怕付出？

如果癡迷是苦，你會不會選擇結束？
如果追求是苦，你會不會選擇執迷不悟？

再好的东西都有失去的一天。再深的记忆也有淡忘的一天。

再爱的人，也有远走的一天。再美的梦也有苏醒的一天。

摘自facebook's note

无字部落

谢谢你，让我看清我的不重要
让我明白我一直都只是在发一场美梦
让我从沉睡很久的美梦苏醒
让我不再奢望些什么
让我不再有任何期待
没有期待，就不会有失望。

这将是我最后一篇情绪化的部落。

轨迹

Listen to many old songs recently and this is the song that i like most last time. My 1st video in my blog with my favorite song. Want to share this nice song with all of you.

Close friends in these 3 years