很讨厌孤单
很讨厌一个人去面对困难
很讨厌很讨厌无助的感觉
很讨厌没有安全感
很讨厌计划完全被打乱
很讨厌安排不了给自己的私人时间
我本来就不是可以一个人过得很好的类型
我只是在岑强
因为不想被大家认为我是脆弱

Dreaming again

Wish to run away from here.
Give up everything I possess.
Wish I have guts to do that.

I hope my life is colorful.
So I keep fill up my free time with program.
I wish to see more about this beautiful world.
So I'm here in KL.
I'm ready to explore.

But this place has too many old memories.
I cannot push myself to restart a new life.
Instead it keep me looking backward.
I wish to go to a brand new place,
Place where nobody know me.
And I can start to build my sweet memory there.
Maybe the place is Taiwan?

But this is all just a dream.
Cause I have my family here in Malaysia.

原来一直都活在自己的世界里面
原来我真的什么都不是的
不要再犯溅、空想、发梦
没有任何事会改变的
是时候掏出一些空间
让给别人家

思念-槟城

这是我思念的地方、我思念的小岛
当失去时，才会发现原来曾经拥有很多
在槟城，我曾经拥有好室友、yam cha的朋友
还有几个很要好的大学朋友、还有我最最最要好的朋友
偶尔想家时，就跑回家，享受家里的温暖
可是我选择了这里 繁忙的都市生活
学着独立 一个人生活
学着面对 承受工作压力
学着放开+看开

The Wedding

害虫

零食，
一口一口，
卡扎卡扎的咬下去，

很香脆，很可口。

一包接一包的，

渐渐的忘了，

其实他对身体有害。
吃的时候很爽口，
疾病就留给以后。

零食啊零食，
可以不要靠近吗？
除非你告诉我：
“我会带给你健康”

新年快乐！！

Sigh....

这条道路，两旁都不是我想要的景色。
人生就是那么的无奈吧?
常听说要有规划的人生
生活才有意义
可我有我的目标、
我清楚自己的方向
但又有何帮住?
常常都得不到在计划中的东西
有计划但又能怎么样?
每次都会被捣乱
前方的路，只有疲惫...
也许我是自己人生失败的编辑者...
无奈...真无奈...

有目标，有冲劲

我有很多的目标

我的梦想 就是旅行
旅行 首先要有一台好相机
既然已经有了好相机 就要找些好的配件 拍出更好数质的照片

所以 我需要很多的$$$$
那么 我就要拼命的工作
赚多多的钱 换来我的梦想

现在的梦
只有自己只身 去完成
偶尔也希望 有个伴可以一起分享
一个人久了 会累

只身在外生活 真的没那么简单
要很坚强

挑战

首先，要恭贺自己找到一份工作.

本来保留这个日期的位子其实是要写写到大公司工作前夕的心情。但是，第一天上班，知道这部门的working style 后，真的是让我彻底的失望透顶。很多次想立刻丢信的冲动.

可是我不能这么做

因为
长大了

踏出每一步都要想想后果
做每一件事都要有责任感
受点苦不算什么
应该要把眼光放得更遥远
不可以一味的想要过得轻松的生活
更不能没尝试就想放弃

“先苦后甜”
现在暂时先把工作排在生活上的第一位
真的透不过气再想想其他办法
所以现在愿意接受这艰难的挑战

只要相信

什么事情都会变成可能
我要胜任这份工作！加油！

leaving....离....

I hope i hv finally found what i hv after in life. Working in kl is what I'm looking for since last time. Now that i hv gt the chance, but i hv to throw my family and leave my best friends in north.. When I am stress/ down, I cant go back home to seek for the warmth of family; when I am tired, I hv to handle it all alone in KL. but i keep telling myself this is a process of growing up. I shd learn to be independent. I'm very clear that working in kl is not the same as studying in kl ad. Working, i will not go back that frequent. If go back home also like staying in a comfortable hotel for at most 1 week only. Pity my parents I hv to leave them here and chase after my dreams. I'm a selfish daughter...But thanks to mom that she is always supporting me, and thanks to dad that he always give me what i want.

My family

这段期间，我深深的明白世界上最坚固、最不会变质的关系是亲情

在我最低落的时候，还好有爸爸妈妈在背后给我鼓励。

可是在我心情很不好的时候，我却常常向他们发脾气。

很多时候我是应该要把不开心的情绪藏起来的，不应该让他们看见、让他们为我担忧。

看见他们常为我操心，真的觉得自己还不够成熟。

几时，我才可以让他们不为我担心？

几时，在他们眼中我才是个可以独立的大人？

虽然还是会思念
但是我已学会把思念往肚里吞
不找任何人倾诉
也不会作多余的联系
去奢望“无味”的反应
虽然好想可以分享
但有好朋友在
我想那就已经足够了
我不需要任何人
只要好朋友
要知音
和我亲爱的家人

乐观

自我催眠
自我麻醉

“你已成为过去
希望在明天”

My true feeling

The big smile...
is it truly from the bottom of my heart?
No, it is a fake smile
I'm pretending to be optimistic
but actually the worst thing that might happen keep on playing in my mind
I'm pretending depress is thousand miles away from me
but actually I feel very stress inside
I'm pretending to ignore how people are judging me
but actually I need your encouragement and support
I'm pretending the pass have been forgotten
but actually everything have been deeply engraved inside my heart
I'm pretending to be happy with my current life
but actually I feel that something is missing in life

This blog itself create a sad atmosphere.
Hope the colourful words will help to reduce the gray mood

小丑

看上去我像个傻婆，失尽仪态的疯狂大笑，
事实上，我心里超难过，我只不过是个化着浓妆的小丑
一直想要掩饰...掩饰.......................思念

Keep me Dreaming

How I wish i could always stay in my dream.

How I wish the theory in the movie "Inception" can apply in the real world too.

In my dream, I can stay happier

In my dream, nobody is leaving me

In my dream, I will not be lonely

In my dream, everything will have a happy ending

In my dream... In my dream... In my dream...

How I wish I could always stay in my dream

and never wake up

The real world is SXXK!!

Give me peace please!! i want a peaceful life!

I'm really tired and sick of everything!

Could you all just keep your mouths shut!

Don't ever try to challenge my patient!

I do not hope to be cruel!

Since you all make the situation worst

Then you have to leave!

This is not the ending that I wish it to happen in this way!

Stay

quietly and peacefully,

or else

LEAVE!!

想念

思念

挂念

memories are killing me...